As I sit down to write this post, I am internally flinching at the number of things on my to-do list. There are the things that I need to do to keep the household running [get groceries, do laundry, put away the dishes]. There are the tasks that I need to do to fulfill commitments [picking up a dress for a friend’s wedding, setting a skype date with a friend, attending a volunteer meeting]. Then there are the things I need to do for myself, an endless task list which keeps rolling over week after week and haunting my every nightmare.
How many times have I told myself I need to clean out the center console of my car? How many times have I thought about the paper piling up in my document drawer that needs to be organized? Doctors and dentist appointments swim before my eyes, yet I haven’t taken the time to schedule them. In her brilliant article about Millennials and Burnout, Anne Helen Petersen characterizes this avoidance of high-energy, low-reward tasks as errand paralysis, a pattern playing out across the millennial generation. I have multiple friends who haven’t seen a doctor in more than 3 years due to a combination of inadequate health insurance and the lack of an ability to take time off work.
When the media talks about millennials, it paints a picture of wild youngsters with little respect for authority and a lack of practical experience in the real world. The reality is the youngest millennials are now 23 years old, and the oldest members of our generation are 38. Between 23 and 38 years old, millennials are an essential part of the workplace, and are now investing in buying homes, having kids of their own, and are the largest political voting bloc.
As millennials, we experienced the financial crisis first hand, lived through the rapid evolution of technology, and remember exactly where we were on September 11th. The lives of millennials have been shaped by constant evolution. Also, according to a study by YouGov, millennials were more likely to report feeling always or often lonely compared to other generations (30% for millennials, 20% for Gen X, and 15% for baby boomers). 1 in 5 millennials reported having no friends. According to Blue Cross, Blue Shield millennials are seeing their health decline faster than previous generations. Without intervention, millennials could “feasibly see mortality rates climb up by more than 40% compared to Gen-Xers at the same age.” We have saved less than past generations as our purchasing power has decreased and are far more likely to experience student debt.
If that wasn’t enough, due in part to these external stressors, millennials are burning out at alarming rates, particularly millennial women. Women are more likely than men to experience burnout due to a concept known as “the second shift,” where women who work outside the home still complete the majority of home-making tasks. One recent study found that women who work outside the home still spend as much time taking care of the children as stay-at-home moms in 1975.
Millennials across the board more likely to experience burnout than past generations, and yes, burnout is a real thing and recognized by the World Health Organization in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems (ICD-11). According to How Millennials Become the Burnout Generation, “‘Burnout’ was first recognized as a psychological diagnosis in 1974, applied by psychologist Herbert Freudenberger to cases of “physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress.” Burnout is of a substantively different category than “exhaustion,” although it’s related. Exhaustion means going to the point where you can’t go any further; burnout means reaching that point and pushing yourself to keep going, whether for days or weeks or years.”
While millennials have long served as a proverbial punching bag for what is wrong with society, a lack of care in addressing burnout in the American workforce will have a profound impact on mental health and workforce productivity in the coming years.
So how do you know if you are burning out? Here are the surefire ways to know you’re experiencing burnout, as well as some handy tricks for recovering from burnout.
How to Know You’re Experiencing Burnout
While burnout is usually specifically related to your professional life (stay-at-home parents that includes your work at home!), burnout can impact all levels of your life. Here are some commons symptoms of burnout.
You’re Tired All the Time
One of the first symptoms of burnout, according to the World Health Organization, is energy depletion or exhaustion. This isn’t the type of tiredness that a good night of sleep solves, but one that rolls over day after day. Burnout usually corresponds with either insomnia or sleeping too much. When I burn out, I find myself wanting to curl under the blankets and sleep away the problems.
Every Task Feels Enormous
Peterson describes this when discussing her inbox of shame and the number of emails that always keep piling up in your inbox. The same can be true for text messages, tasks, etc. Even small jobs begin to feel astronomical when you are feeling burned out. Replying to an email can feel as difficult as a 10-mile run when you don’t have the energy to move forward.
Lack of Concentration and Forgetfulness
Another hallmark of burnout is that your performance is suffering in a professional setting. Now, that doesn’t necessarily mean you are receiving bad reviews, or even that other people noticed. This happens in a two-fold way. First, with burnout, you are more likely to have trouble concentrating and experience forgetfulness in regards to tasks. The second is that you stop putting in the effort. The World Health Organization also mentions emotional distancing from your job as once side effect of burnout. That isn’t to say that having some emotional distance from your career isn’t a good thing (I struggle with over-identifying with my jobs). Still, if that emotional distance comes from intentionally putting in less effort, it is likely a symptom of burnout.
Apathy and Hopelessness
When you look at your professional life, do you feel stuck? Do you feel as if you are never going to reach the next level of your job, or not care if you remain with the company? Apathy and hopelessness are common symptoms of burnout, especially among millennials. While older generations may have stayed in one company their entire careers, millennials change jobs much more frequently. While this opens us up to new opportunities, it also can make it difficult to picture where your career will be in 5 years.
You’re Irritable with Everyone, Including the People You Love
The people we love often receive the brunt of our irritability. When you are burned out, you may find yourself snapping at your friends, your partner, or your kids over things that usually wouldn’t bother you. Maybe you find yourself lashing out over dishes in the sink or a friend being late to lunch. Things you could normally brush off or talk out can become a heavy weight when you are feeling burned out.
Headaches and Stomach Aches
Physical symptoms are common for those who are experiencing burnout, especially headaches and stomach aches. In the pre-burnout stage, I also found my existing mental health challenges to exacerbated. My anxiety got to the point of sending me into panic attacks on the way to work, and depression made me feel hopeless all the time. If you are experiencing physical symptoms, evaluate if you are feeling burned out. If you are getting sick far more frequently, your body is probably trying to tell you something.
Using Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms to Get Through the Day
I am not talking about a glass of wine at the end of an exhausting day. However, if you find yourself continually having to rely on coping mechanisms to get through the day (such as binge shopping, drinking, etc.) it may be time to evaluate the negative impact your job is having on your life.
How to Recover from Burnout
All is not lost! There are ways to recover from burnout, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Here are some of my top tips for recovering from burnout
You Cannot Pour From an Empty Cup
I can remember the exact time a supervisor told me this quote. She was worried that I was approaching burnout by taking too much onto my plate. I have always been a “yes” person. Yes to more opportunity, yes to more responsibility. Self-care could wait until I was older and retired. Hearing that quote for the first time fundamentally changed my approach to working. If you don’t take time to fill yourself up, you won’t have anything more to give to someone else. While the metaphor of putting on your oxygen mask first before helping other people may sound cliche, it is critical to managing burnout in your life. Take care of yourself first. Find something you love doing and do it just for yourself, whether it is going to Zumba once a week, sketching in the evenings, or attending a local farmers market. Find something that feeds you.
Turn Off Your Phone
In our 24/7 work culture, we have seen the burden of the workforce shift away from a 9-5 culture into one where you always have to be available. Email, Text, Calls, Slack…it is a wonder that employees have any time for themselves and their families. In France, there is a right to disconnect law which prevents employers (with more than 50 employees) from sending emails after certain times. Yet in America, even on vacation, there is often an expectation that you are available. Turn off your phone if you can. If you can’t do that, mute all notifications and only look at your phone at specifically designated times.
Talk to a friend
Talk to a friend, and talk to one who will listen. Even just being able to sit, vent, and share your experiences with someone you are close to can be incredibly cathartic. Going on walks with one of my friends during our lunch breaks is what helped get me through difficult burnout times in the past.
Learn to Say No
No is a full sentence. If you are going to say yes to a project, make sure it is something you can accomplish. While you may not be able to say no to a task from a supervisor, level-set their expectations. I have found saying, “These are the tasks I am working on. What would you like me to prioritize?” Try to avoid overcommitting yourself so you don’t set yourself up for failure.
Go to Therapy
Therapy has been life-changing for me. I thoroughly believe everyone can benefit from therapy. Even if you are the most well-adjusted person in the world, you can benefit from therapy. The struggle for many millennials isn’t a mental stigma (which it was for past generations), but that many of us cannot afford therapy, or feel like there is a time commitment barrier. Check to see if your health insurance covers therapy sessions (many do) and make it a priority. If the barrier is time, companies like TalkSpace and BetterHelp provide remote therapy options. Besides, mindfulness meditation has been proven to be beneficial in combatting burnout.
Take Time Away from Social Media
We have all seen that person on social media, perfectly balancing what it means to be the perfect parent and perfect partner, with their perfect job and the perfect wardrobe. I am going to let you in on a secret. None of that is real. That person is not perfect. They likely still bicker with their partner, get annoyed at their kids, and get frustrated at their job. I adore social media, but the need to build your brand on social media where your life looks perfect can take a toll. Even more, when we scroll through the list of perfectly curated pictures, we often compare a perfect Instagram photo against our own lives. Don’t compare your worse day against someone’s curated snapshot. Sometimes that means unplugging and taking some time away from social media.
Take a Vacation or Make a Change
If you have the option, take a leave of absence or a vacation. Take time to prioritize you and not focus on work. It can even be a staycation in your city. That doesn’t mean running errands and doing all the tasks that ‘should’ be done (my therapist’s favorite quote is ‘Don’t should all over yourself’). Recovering from burnout means taking time just for you. Also, burnout may mean shifting out of your current role. If you are no longer feeling fulfilled and you have the interest in another job and the ability to leave, look at your options. Sometimes recovering from burnout means making significant changes in your life, but that should be done in conjunction with the above steps. Don’t shift from burning out in one job to burning out in another just because you want a change of scenery. You deserve better.
What are some of your top resources for combatting burnout?